I Take It All Back…

It is now clear that I was completely out of my mind while pregnant with Frankie. I actually wrote the following in my pregnancy blog:

"I have to say, eight months into this ordeal, that I absolutely LOVE being
pregnant! It’s positively nuts. I’m actually kinda sad to not be pregnant
anymore. Perhaps this is God’s way of convincing us to have more children – make the first pregnancy easy, and the rest pure hell."

Actually, I did speak one ounce of truth – the part about the subsequent pregnancies being pure hell. OK, this one isn’t pure hell, but as of two weeks ago, we have entered the “hell” phase.

Of what does that consist?

First off, the other night, I had Frankie sitting on my knee while I read him a couple books. When he got off, I couldn’t put any weight on that leg for a good 20 minutes, that night I woke up with a Charlie horse in the back of my knee and I’m still having spasms, now, three days later. For reading to my son!? That’s just not nice.

Secondly, I’ve also become quite accustomed to sleeping on our couch for half the night – half the night so I can switch into the bed to vary the sleeping surface on which I sleep. That way, when my hips are in excruciating pain after the couch for half the night, I can start over fresh on our mattress, a more firm surface. Sometimes I switch it up and start in the bed, but I have yet to spend an entire night in one place since mid-March.

Finally, Frankie was a typical boy pregnancy. My belly grew from the back fat on one side to the other. This time is a typical girl pregnancy – it looks like I’m smuggling a basketball under my shirt, and I still have faint remnants of a waistline. As a result, the belly button that hung tough with Frankie is now teetering on the edge of inside-out-ed-ness and barely holding on to it’s original “innie” shape. I understand once it goes inside out during pregnancy, it never really looks the same ever again. So long, tidy, little innie belly button.

I think I got cocky after Frankie’s birth when we found out the later babies would have to be scheduled c-sections. We talked about how great that was, because being pregnant was a breeze for me, so without labor, having kids would be a piece of cake. God heard that conversation and said, “Let her have pain for six weeks before the rest of her children’s births in place of labor pain.” Thank you, thank you very much.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining – Oh, forget it. I am complaining and ready for this pregnancy to be over. I’ve even got a countdown poster in my classroom to ease the pain and have my students share in the anticipation of uterine independence. (Actually, I think they enjoy it so they know how many days left of cranky Mrs. Knapp they have to put up with!)

When Dennis and I got married, we agreed that we wanted at least three children. Currently, I am advocating strongly that “a perfect set of two is spectacular.” Adoption isn’t so bad, right? I did notice something about “adoption fee deductions” while preparing our taxes this year… 41 days left and counting!